Relationships

Every where people go, they form relationships. There are many types of relationships in this world, like that of a mother and her son, a man and woman or one that is shared between freinds. However today I would like to talk about the relationship shared between a man and women. As we have learnt there are 2 theories dedicated to this, Defleur’s theory of engagement, management, disengagement and Knapp’s model of relational development.

Looking at these 2 theories I would say that Defleur’s theory is better because it looks at communication in relationships at more comprehensive level. Defleur realised that this process consists of 3 parts and that each part could be influenced by certain factors. Although Knapp’s model has been broken down into 10 stages, we can look at the top 5 stages as people coming together and the remaining 5 as them drifting apart. Despite this, it still has some dsadvantages. One is that it fails to realise that relationships are not that simple and that people need to work at it. Probably that is why Knapp’s model does not pay attention to mantaining a relationship( although some theorist suggest that stages 4 to 7 refers to relational maintainance). Another disadvantage is that it does not look at the factors that can influence the stages whereas Defleur has gone into detail.

Looking at the Defleur processes, I feel that from all 3 stages, mantaining a relationship is the hardest. It takes alot of effort. When ure in a relationship with a person, you should be able to trust that person completely. You should be able to talk to that person about your past as well as to be able to talk about your emotions. This process is called self disclosure. A person is only able to this once he or she feels comfortable with their partner, This is an important part of an relationship as it helps take the relationship further. It brings the couple closer. Self disclosure is an important part of reaffirming the attachment and commitment to amother person you share a relationship with. Another factor is conflict. Having a conflict can be considered to be healthy as it get the couple to work out their problem together. It teaches them how to compromise and how to put themselves in the place of their partner to see where he or she is coming from. The last factor that is that the right amount of distance and intimacy is required in a relationship. If your partner is able to know you well enough, he or she will undertstand when you need space and when you need them to be around. This is essential as it shows that the couple share an unspoken bond, they dont need to use words to get their message across. Non-verbal communication would then be goos enough.

Therfore I feel that of the 2 theories, Defleur has expressed the process of communication in relationship the best.